Ever set a boundary with your child — “Use a quiet voice so your brother can sleep?” or “Screens go off in 5 minutes.” — only to have your child do precisely what you’ve asked them not to do?
372 times a day this happens, right? 🙂
Well in the video below I talk about several aspects of boundaries, including the mainstream approach to “enforcing” them with our children. In addition, I share an approach to boundaries for conscious parents, and a specific challenge for mindful parents. After you watch the video, you might check out my boundary tips that follow.
Boundary Tips
- Be mindful about the boundaries you set. Set only those that are truly necessary.
- Treat boundary “violations” as impersonal acts rather than deliberate choices your child is making to ignore, disrespect, or annoy you.
- Consider what might be making it difficult for your child to honor a boundary you’ve set.
- Attempt not to set boundaries that you sense will be hard for others to honor or for you to maintain (e.g., thinking a young, enthusiastic child will be able to not touch items in a toy store is almost asking for that boundary to be crossed).
- A dysregulated child will have a very difficult time honoring boundaries, so help them succeed by doing what you can to keep them in a regulated state (i.e., a “human brain” state, a “yes” brain, green zone state).
To catch these videos on Facebook, like my page or join my closed Facebook group, the Conscious Moms’ Circle.
Watching your video really made me go into a much deeper thought process about setting boundaries for my grandkids. I grew up very old school about setting strict boundaries and so you’re right when I said boundaries with my grandkids I take it very personal. When they don’t do what I say I get mad and internalize it. Your video helped me think about what are the things I’m bringing into this that are just mine and have nothing to do with them. I’m going to watch your video again and really take time to think about this and time to care for myself so that I can be more present and thoughtful in their upbringing. I think you’re absolutely right that we only control ourselves and so I want my grandkids to know that their power is theirs. No one can really make them feel certain things if they are balanced and strong.