“Your children are genius creators who have just arrived from Nonphysical, who are feeling empowered. And if they would be left to their own devices, they would not go astray. They would maintain worthiness; they would maintain their feeling of Well-Being. They would thrive, unless it was taught otherwise to them. In other words, if others don’t do something to change their vibration, they are in a vibration of thriving.”~ Abraham
One of our most profound opportunities as parents is to support our children in becoming themselves. Not merely the son or daughter mom or dad thinks they should be or the person grandma/uncle/teacher/preacher would like to have them become, but who they were meant to be.
The seed is there from conception, ready to become its full embodiment. It needs not our instructions on how to grow, nor our judgement of its form. In fact, like the quote from Abraham above notes, these inputs will restrict our child’s flowering rather than fostering this unfolding.
How to help a child blossom
If your desire is to support your son or daughter to become the fullest expression of him/herself, here are some ways to succeed.
- Pay attention to what they are naturally drawn to and encourage their exploration and passion. The video below from human development specialist, Peter L. Benson, has some practical ideas for encouraging children’s spark (Sparks: How Parents Can Help Ignite the Hidden Strengths of Teenagers. One powerful tool to use in knowing our children is listening fully to them, seeking simply to hear them and care about what they’re saying.
- Give them plenty of free time for discovery. In modern life this means time away from screens, homework, structured activity (like organized sports, music lessons, art class) so they can be the architect of their own adventures. One great way to do this is to practice the principles of Simplicity Parenting and allow boredom to be familiar to your child.
- Appreciate and acknowledge their uniqueness and interests. Be a person who is curious about what your child likes and a fan of what they create (even if it’s not what you personally prefer). A great story of how challenging this can be is from Leah Adler, mother of renowned director, Stephen Spielberg. As she once said, “You see, Steven wasnâ€™t exactly cuddly. What he was was scary. He used to stand outside their [his sisters] windows at night, howling, ‘I am the moon. I am the moon.’ Theyâ€™re still scared of the moon. And he cut off the head of one of Nancyâ€™s dolls and served it to her on a bed of lettuce.”
- Be mindful of not pushing your agenda. Our children will take on some of our own beliefs, likes, and visions as their own simply by the power of the time and influence we have in their lives. That being said, our dreams are not their dreams, nor are their lives ours to live. Notice when you’re expecting them to turn out the way you want them to or making too many suggestions for their life.
- Help broaden their circle of possibilities. As with the issue above, it can be easy for our background or our own limits to be passed on to our children as boundaries on their imaginations and potential. Give them chances to experience things you haven’t, cultivate hobbies you’ve never considered, or simply hang out with people different than those in your social/cultural circle.
“Only surround yourself with people who will lift you higher.”~Oprah Winfrey
What are you doing to fan the flames of passion in your child’s life? Who helped you find your passion and bring it to life?Â I’d love to hear from you.
Dr. Peter L. Benson’s international reputation in human development emerged in the 1990s through his innovative, research-based framework of Developmental Assets, the most widely recognized approach to positive youth development in the United States and, increasingly, around the world. Before joining Search Institute in 1978, Dr. Benson was chair of the psychology department and chair of the program in human development and social relations at Earlham College, Richmond, Indiana.