The transformative power of gratitude, thankfulness and appreciation

Gratitude is something I consciously bring into my life on a daily basis. At the evening meal, my husband, Bruce, and I express gratitude for one or more things that happened or simply were during the day. Some days our words of thanks flow easily from hearts filled to the brim with appreciation. Other days we might really have to think about what we actually feel grateful for. Regardless of how easy or hard it is for us to identify that for which we are thankful, we have maintained this practice for over 5 years.

How gratitude has changed my life

People who know me would have said that I’ve always been a grateful person. This is true. Actively choosing to identify and name that for which I am grateful, however, has, in itself, been a blessing in my life.

Gratitude makes even the toughest days easier. To me, practicing gratitude is like standing in the dark woods with the flame of a candle the only light and saying, “wow, look at that light” rather than, “man, it’s dark out here.”
Gratitude reminds me of how rich and blessed I truly am. In American culture, we’re bombarded with messages that tell us to think we need more stuff or better stuff to be truly happy. The truth is, I’m happy and blessed regardless of the amount or quality of stuff in my life.
Gratitude opens my heart with compassion. When I am conscious of how blessed I am, I also realize that there are people throughout our world who do truly suffer. I tend to then take action to do what I can to help ease that suffering, so they too can feel grateful for their lives.
Gratitude makes me more grateful. Like an ascending spiral staircase, feeling grateful for one thing often triggers gratitude for another which reminds me of yet another thing for which I am thankful. Taking that first act of noticing opens my eyes to other blessings which I might have missed if not for that initial choice to see with thankful eyes.
Gratitude simplifies my life. Like many people, I sometimes get caught in the tsunami that is modern culture. By practicing gratitude, I become aware of how little I truly need to be happy, healthy, and fully alive. Gratitude slows me down and kindles peace in my heart and mind.
Gratitude makes me attractive. My gratitude practice makes my inner light shine brighter and others (people, animals, energy) are drawn to me to bask in that glow. It’s like being your own generator of positive, life-affirming energy when you consciously choose gratitude.

I would be grateful to know about your experience with gratitude. How has it changed your life? What keeps you from feeling grateful? What most profoundly evokes your gratitude? Please use the “comments” area to share or trackback to this post from your site.

Gratitude Quotes

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion to clarity. . . . Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.”

~ Melody Beattie

“I do not think of all the misery, but of the glory that remains. Go outside into the fields, nature and the sun, go out and seek happiness in yourself and in God. Think of the beauty that again and again discharges itself within and without you and be happy.”

~ Anne Frank

“It seems to me that we often, almost sulkily, reject the good that God offers us because, at the moment, we expected some other good.”

~ C.S. Lewis

“Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are. Let me learn from you, love you, bless you before you depart. Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow. Let me hold you while I may, for it may not always be so. One day I shall dig my nails into the earth, or bury my face in the pillow, or stretch myself taut, or raise my hands to the sky and want, more than all the world, your return.”

~ Mary Jean Iron

Filed under: Uncategorized, Gratitude, Mindfulness, Inspiration, Peace by Shonnie on November 17, 2007 |

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Random personal facts (good for trivia games and blog memes)

Back in July, I attended my first ever blogging conference–BlogHer ‘07 to be exact. I had a fantastic time and declared it the “best conference ever.” I stayed at the Hi-Hostel in Chicago and now want to look for great hostels whenever I travel. One of my hostel mates is Adrienne and she’s the creator of Baby Toolkit where she and her husband, Jim, offer “tips, tactics, & gear reviews for parents.” Well, recently Adrienne “tagged” me with the “8 random facts about me” meme (she wrote her own 8 random facts with much humor, so check it out).

Meme Rules

Post these rules before you give your facts
List 8 random facts about yourself
At the end of your post, choose (tag) 8 people and list their names, linking to them
Leave a comment on their blog, letting them know they’ve been tagged

Random facts about Shonnie (accurate as of October 2007)

I am adopted. This has been a blessing in my life in so many ways. I was raised by wonderful parents who were able to provide me with so many amazing opportunities throughout my life. Plus, since the mid-1990s, I’ve been reunited with my birthmom and that part of the family who gave me life. Though I know many people want to have their own children, I think that adoption would help heal much of this world’s suffering as there are millions of children wanting parents and as many people who want a child to love.
I have five wonderful children (That’s cats to you and babies to me.). Bruce and I are blessed to call Chocolate (18 years old), Kaali (13), Attabi (12), Bandit, and Desmond (8, brothers) our family. We are a blended family (formerly “his,” “mine,” and “ours”) who get along very well, love to sleep together, and peacefully share our 1,000 square foot home.
I am a happy, healthy vegetarian. I stopped eating red meat in 1992 when my mom stopped eating it. Chicken and other poultry flew the coop around 1997, and fish/seafood no longer were part of our diet (both Bruce and me follow the same diet) starting in 2004. This is one of the best choices I’ve ever made in my life–for my physical health, my spiritual peace, for the health of our planet (learn why no true environmentalist can eat meat), and for the sacred life of the other creatures with whom we share our earthly home.
I am an avid trail runner. Since moving to Asheville in 1997, Bruce and I have ditched road running for hoofing it in the pristine and peaceful mountain trails that abound around our lovely town. Most weekends we can be found scrambling up or scurrying down the challenging single-track footpath known as the Mountains-to-Sea trail (learn more about this 900+ mile trail that traverses North Carolina).
I am a grandmother to two fantastic kids and aunt to two other awesome young ‘uns. Molly and Jack (grandkids) visit us each year for a week that includes a white water rafting trip and at least a few conversations in Pig Latin. Jason and Marissa (nephew and niece) just had their first camping trip on a visit to North Carolina with mom and dad and I know I definitely want more of that kind of time with them in the future.
My husband, Bruce, is not only my honey, but also my business partner, running buddy, and spiritual soulmate. Though we have a 28 year chronological age difference, we figure that because I act so much older than I am and he is a kid at heart, we average out at mid-forty as a shared age. We met while training for the Austin Marathon back in 1995, began dating in 1996, moved to NC in 1997, and married in 1999. Together we authored, I Do! I Do! The Marriage Vow Workbook (read about this book for couples that want to write their own wedding or commitment/re-commitment vows), and do much of our professional work together.
I’m chair of the board for Jubilee! Community, a spiritual community/church, that truly practices what we preach. While I’m the most progressive thinker in my family, I’m also the most regular church goer (go figure). This community, though Christian-based, shares the wisdom of numerous traditions and spiritual teachings (learn about Jubilee).
I’m currently looking for signs from the universe about what path I’m meant to now walk in life. Professionally I’m currently a coach and consultant, though at heart everything I do in work is about teaching. To that end I’m considering if I want to formalize that vocation, and if so, in what particular way will most suit me and best serve the world.

Now, as the saying goes, “Enough about me. What about you?” If you’d like to offer some random facts about yourself, drop a note in the comments area. Specifically, if you’re one of the following folks, please join in the fun by participating in the “8 Random Facts About Me” meme:

Margot Wurst, adoption triad coach
Sherri Singleton, health and fitness coach
Jay Joslin, actor, author, designer, minister, student
Ben Daniel, progressive minister and writer of spiritual and political commentary

Filed under: Uncategorized, Randomness by Shonnie on October 22, 2007 |

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Increase your resiliency

“Fall down seven times, get up eight.”

~ Japanese Proverb

Yesterday I had just left my house, heading for the gym, when I fell off my bike, landing hard, mostly on my chin and left knee. I got up slowly, gently touching my bleeding chin and surveying the rest of the damage. I then walked back home to put ice on my injuries and nurse my wounds. Upon recounting the incident to my husband after he returned from an injury-free bike ride to and from the gym, he said, “That’s one of the things I love about you, that you’re tough like that.” I felt very touched. He was right, of course. I’ve had my share of physical bumps and scrapes as well as plenty of emotional cuts and bruises, yet I’ve always found a way to recover, usually stronger than I was in the first place.

Life is full of injuries and incidents, so avoiding pain isn’t an option. What we can do, however, is be resilient–spiritually strong–so that we bounce back whenever we take a fall, rebounding to fully enjoy the pain-free moments life abundantly offers.

How to bounce back from life’s setbacks

Choose not to suffer. At some level, I think many of us like to suffer occasionally. It evokes sympathy in others and can be a great excuse if we’re needing one. Suffering makes us brittle–susceptible to more injuries in the future. Feel the pain (physical or emotional), cry, wail, moan, curse, lament your situation. Be your wounded self 100%, no holding back. Get all that emotion out. Then, take a deep breath (or 20), and move on, whether that means cleaning your wounds, icing an injury, or nurturing your bruised ego or soul. Feel the pain then let it go so you can be free.
Be with other resilient people. I’ve found it much easier to develop my strength when I’m around other strong people. They’re role models and can be great sources of insight and information as I seek to cultivate similar strengths. When I see them bounce back, I’m inspired to respond to my own troubles in like fashion. I also get to inspire them when they see me rebound from some letdown in my life. It’s a mutually-supportive relationship.
Focus more on the “good” in life. When we view life as mainly problems with a few good times thrown in, it’s easy to stay down when we fall. Instead, when you choose to believe that life’s positive moments far out-number the negative ones, it’s more likely that you’ll view a down time as a temporary situation. Mentally you already set yourself up for the rebound.
Fall lightly. Okay, easier said than done when your fall is divorce, disease, or some other personal disaster. How we perceive our “injury” points us toward either quicker rebound or longer recovery. If we have the attitude that “this is the end of life as I know it,” chances are that statement will become true for us. On the other hand, if we remind ourselves, “this is bad, yet I’ll get through it,” or “wow, that hurt, I’ll pay better attention next time,” it’s easier to swing up toward recovery because our attitude is lighter. Humor can be a great tool to use when you want to rebound quickly.