Five steps to simple, sustainable change
To change one’s life:
- Start immediately
- Do it flamboyantly
- No exceptions.
~ William James
I appreciate the simplicity of William James’ quote. Over 5 years of professional coaching, I’ve found that people seem to make change more complex than it really is.
Here’s a quick, simple process for initiating change in your life. All you need for success is to be diligent in following the steps.
- Identify what you want to change. Notice I didn’t write what you “should,” “have to,” or “need” to change. If you don’t want to do it, you won’t.
- Be specific about the new result you want to achieve. “I want to have 3 ideal clients by May 31, 2007,” is specific. “I want some more clients,” isn’t definitive enough.
- Choose bite-sized actions that will move you closer to your goal. These are four bite-size action steps: I will review my list of ideal client qualities daily. I will attend at least 1 networking event weekly. I will draft a letter/email to all my current clients inviting referrals. I will send the letter/email to all my current clients.
- Have fun and celebrate your successes. If your journey to change feels like a huge chore, chances are you’ll stop doing it at some point. Do things to pat yourself on the back for each action you take and make the process as enjoyable as reaching the final destination.
- Evaluate your progress. Be truthful AND patient in this process. Sometimes we stop taking action if we cannot see immediate results, yet the results are coming. At the same time, if an action you’ve taken doesn’t produce the results you had envisioned, see what happened, and make an adjustment for “next time.”
They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change
them yourself.~ Andy Warhol
Accomplish your biggest dreams. . .starting now
I have an irrepressible desire to live till I can be assured that the world is a little better for my having lived in it.
~Abraham Lincoln, 16th U.S. president
What’s the song that plays in your heart that you’re afraid to sing out loud?
What dreams from your youth tug at the sleeve of your soul?
What visions dance in your mind until you remember you’re
too busy, too old, or too settled to pursue them?
We all have contributions to make to our world. In large and small ways, we are here to share our gifts. Many of us, however, substitute trivial ambitions for meaningful desires, not because we don’t have passion, but because we listen to that little voice in our heads that says we’re not “enough” to give ourselves to following such calls.
Our ordinary mind always tries to persuade us that we are nothing but acorns and that our greatest happiness will be to become bigger, fatter, shinier acorns; but that is of interest only to pigs. Our faith gives us knowledge of something better: that we can become oak trees.
~E.F. Schumacher
The world needs your biggest game!
I believe we’re at a crucial time when it’s no longer enough to sit on the sidelines, play the small parts, or delay the pursuit of our dreams until everything is “just right.” Right now, all the forces of the universe are waiting for you to stand up and give the best you can offer. There is no better time–in fact, there is no other moment than this present instant, to commit yourself to giving all that you’ve got. This may be your last opportunity. . .start making your visions into reality, take your dreams out of the closet, and let loose that song in your heart.
Always remember this. . .
- Though you may still doubt yourself from time to time. . .
- Though you may occasionally feel discouraged, confused, or disillusioned. . .
- Though you may sometimes believe you’re all alone. . .
There is someone/thing that remains in constant connection with you, knowing your true heart, your deepest dreams, and your greatest gifts. This spirit has a message for you. A message for you to remember for all those times when you lose hope that your biggest dreams can come true. This spirit gives voice through the gifts of Nick Arandes, and his song (or spirit’s song with Nick’s voice), I Believe In You (listen/watch below).
Thank you Nick, for this powerful, evocative reminder that there is always faith in us, even when we’ve forgotten to have that faith in ourselves.
Oh, the worst of all tragedies is not to die young, but to live until I am seventy five and yet not ever truly to have lived.
~Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
What does it take to be a moral leader?
Can you imagine being part of a community that experienced a shocking tragedy? Can you fathom the emotions you would feel knowing that one person was the perpetrator of the events? Now, can you see yourself including this person in a memorial to the victims of the violence?
At Virginia Tech, one courageous student took this rare step of honoring the gunman who killed 32 others at the school before committing suicide. Katelynn Johnson, a senior sociology-psychology major, added a stone to represent the gunman in a memorial for those who died during the April 16 rampage.
My family did not raise me to do what is popular. They raised me to do what is morally right.
~ Katelynn Johnson
As reported by the Associated Press, Johnson wrote a letter to the Collegiate Times as the person who placed a stone in the memorial for Cho (the gunman). She wrote, “My family did not raise me to do what is popular. They raised me to do what is morally right. We did not lose only 32 students and faculty members that day; we lost 33 lives.”
Cowardice asks the question—is it safe? Expediency asks the question—is it politic? Vanity asks the question—is it popular? But conscience asks the question—is it right? And there comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular; but one must take it because it is right.
~ Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.
I’m grateful to Ms. Johnson for standing apart from others who took the popular and safe paths. Though I cannot grasp what could have led Cho to do what he did, my soul knows that he too suffered. I believe that when we choose to omit the perpetrators of violence from our prayers we lose part of our humanity. We all commit acts of violence in our lives–whether in harshly uttered words, righteous judgments, tightly-held resentments, or withdrawal of our love and support. While I know many would argue with me that these “minor” acts have no comparison to outright murder and physical violence, I disagree. There may be differing levels, yet an unloving act is an unloving act, no matter its size or scope.
For us to create a different world than that which we’ve brought into being today, we must forgo the popular and the safe route. We must believe, speak, and act out of love. . . no matter how irrational that love may seem. We must have the courage to be moral leaders, like Ms. Johnson chose to do. We must choose to follow our better nature, that part of ourselves that knows that no matter what it may look like on the surface, we are one. We must see that even in our pain, our judgment, our confusion, or our fear, we can choose a higher road. For it is this road of love, courage, compassion, and truth that will lead us to a new tomorrow, toward a peaceful, mutually-beneficial co-existence that we’ve been yearning for since we came into this world.
How to tame your inner critic
How many of you are critical of yourself? How many of you would like to treat yourself with more compassion? How many of you think your inner critic doesn’t truly serve you?
As a recovering perfectionist, I know about judging myself harshly. Having worked with hundreds of clients over the past seven years, I also know that self-criticism is one of the most universal challenges. Regardless of the larger reasons that my clients chose to work with me (career transition, improving relationships, gaining confidence, etc.), I showed almost all of them how to create phenomenal results with less stress and struggle.
“You were given a right foot and a left foot, not a right foot and a wrong foot.”
~ Buckminster Fuller
In my private coaching and workshops, I teach specific ways to tame your inner critic and transform her/him from being your master to serving you as you choose. So you can begin to disable your self-critic system, however, I offer you the following suggestions.
- Choose to love yourself unconditionally, always, in all ways.
- Replace “right” and “wrong” with a less omniscient viewpoint like “what’s working” and “what’s not working.”
- Be your own best lover rather than expecting other people to fill up your emotional fuel tank.
- Don’t take anything personally (i.e., other’s judgments about you).
- Refuse to speak about or to yourself in any derogatory, unloving, or dishonoring way.
- Surround yourself only with those who love and honor you.
There’s no law that demands you stop being critical about yourself. However, if you want to live a full life, succeed wildly, and have an awesome time in the process, taming this inner voice of judgment is a non-negotiable action.
Stretch beyond your perceived limits
What can you learn from a rock, a tree, and a tarp? If you’re climbing the face of rock wall, walking across the bark-bare-tree hanging like a tightrope high above the ground, or sleeping under the tarp for the first time alone, outside in the winter, you can learn a great deal. . .or let me say more truthfully, I learned much.
Take the attitude of a student, never be too big to ask questions, never know too much to learn something new.
~ Og Mandino
In March I took part in a 4 day expedition put on by the North Carolina Outward Bound Professional program. Along with 7 others, including our fantastic facilitators Bob and CJ, I backpacked in the Pisgah National Forest, played team-building games that stretched my mind, and went through physical challenges that worked both body and soul. It was a marvelous experience that I’m not sure can be equaled in any other kind of educational environment. I returned home feeling more powerful, confident, capable, engaged, and alive. Communing with nature, breaking my routine, and going beyond what I knew I could do grew me in ways I’m still discovering.
If you’re feeling quite comfortable in your life or conversely, extremely uncomfortable with the life you’re living, I urge you to consider taking a trip with Outward Bound. As Kurt Hahn, the founder of the organization once wrote, “There is more to us than we know. If we can be made to see it, perhaps, for the rest of our lives, we will be unwilling to settle for less.”
Do I look good in hazard yellow rainpants in the Appalachian Mountains or what? (Don’t write “Or what” please.) 
Judging others is a time waster
Time invested in improving ourselves cuts down on time wasted in disapproving of others.
~ Author UnknownIf you judge people, you have no time to love them.
~ Mother Teresa
While I certainly believe that it’s fine to express our opinions (like I’m doing right now), I also believe that judging others or complaining about how they “should be” is futile since we have no control over others. Such judging also wears at our soul in the long run and before we know it, our constant complaining will attract more garbage to us than Oscar the Grouch ever dreamed of.
So, call this a friendly Friday reminder that our wisest course of action, and most effective use of energy is to focus on being the best we can be and allow others that same privilege.
Here’s your chance to give your opinion. What do you think? Does judging others serve a useful purpose?
The Secret teachers speak about wealth with Ellen DeGeneres
If you’re new to The Secret or haven’t heard of the Law of Attraction, you can learn a bit by watching the video from the Ellen DeGeneres show (6:28 minutes long). In the clip, guests, Bob Proctor and John Assaraf, both men of much success, talk about aspects of The Secret. Specifically they discuss:
- Debt and the Law of Attraction
- Outside world vs. Inside world control
- Seeing “more” — all we need is available to us right now
- Focusing on what you want (Read about how I’ve brought more money into my life than ever before by using The Secret.)
- Gestation period of our thoughts
- Taking inspired action
- Current reality is the result of past thinking and actions
One of my favorite moments from the video clip is when Bob Proctor shares one of his affirmations.
“I am so happy and grateful now that money comes to me in increasing quantities through multiple sources on a continuous basis.”
~ Bob Proctor
Click the “play” triangle in the left corner below the image. Make sure you have your speakers or headset turned on too.
While I cannot predict the future (though I once had a premonition about an earthquake), I can unequivocally say that the Law of Attraction and the principles taught in The Secret have been producing the results I’ve wanted to create in my life. You can call it luck, coincidence, or a fluke it matters not to me. I’m enjoying the abundance and giving thanks that I now know The Secret.
If you want to learn more on your own, you can check out The Secret DVD or the book version of The Secret.
Thanks to Steve Celmer for putting several resources about The Secret in one place.
The money I’ve earned proves that The Secret is no joke
The Secret has worked for me, no ifs, ands, or buts about it. If you’ve read Newsweek lately or if you view the “Today” show regularly, you may be having your doubts about The Secret and the Law of Attraction. Whether these naysayers actually don’t believe in the Law of Attraction or they’re too greedy to share the goodies with others, I don’t know. What I do know is that I’m a believer because I’ve seen it work in my life in the one area that was once a frequent challenge — money, finances, and material wealth.
The financial goals I have focused on
When I worked in the corporate world (I left in December 2004) I made approximately $3,500/month and I hadn’t earned near that amount since going out on my own. Starting after I attended the phenomenal Millionaire Mind Intensive event in Atlanta in November 2006, however, I’ve focused on earning “at least $5,000 or more each month.” I did NOT busy myself with “figuring out” how I was going to earn this amount, I simply put my attention on what I wanted.
The financial bounty that has resulted from my focus
Since putting my focus on what I wanted–though this includes other things, I’m looking specifically at the monetary desires–all manner of awesome things have happened.
- Out of the blue, through NO solicitation of my own, a $5,000 engagement came my way. In one fell swoop I reached my goal! I was giddy with excitement to see how abundance came looking for me.
- Three people have approached me for coaching without my lifting a finger (except to answer their calls or reply to their emails). So far, one is a new client and the other two are in the process of deciding.
- Over 100 people registered for a free blogging teleclass I offered and several have become clients. Current income from this (all these people got special pricing) = $1,200 with more on the way.
- A teleclass series that hadn’t met it’s minimum registrants, climbed over that threshold, so we’re now “all systems go.” Net income here = $1,800 spread over a couple months.
So the total to date for March (and we’re just at mid-month) is $8,000 and though I’ll owe taxes on this, it’s still my most profitable month ever! Add to all this an A+ in my first graduate school class, an amazing “out of the blue” opportunity to do an Outward Bound course in the Linville Gorge area of North Carolina, and great health (I did have bronchitis for 4 weeks prior), I am living proof that the Law of Attraction and the other teachings of The Secret do apply to me and work in my life.
I’d love to know what you think about The Secret. Have you practiced these principles? Are you skeptical? Drop your comments into the mix and let’s see if I’m “just lucky” or if others have also been creating powerful results using the Law of Attraction.
Check out The Secret yourself and make your own decision. Get the book or DVD version.
