Stretch beyond your perceived limits
What can you learn from a rock, a tree, and a tarp? If you’re climbing the face of rock wall, walking across the bark-bare-tree hanging like a tightrope high above the ground, or sleeping under the tarp for the first time alone, outside in the winter, you can learn a great deal. . .or let me say more truthfully, I learned much.
Take the attitude of a student, never be too big to ask questions, never know too much to learn something new.
~ Og Mandino
In March I took part in a 4 day expedition put on by the North Carolina Outward Bound Professional program. Along with 7 others, including our fantastic facilitators Bob and CJ, I backpacked in the Pisgah National Forest, played team-building games that stretched my mind, and went through physical challenges that worked both body and soul. It was a marvelous experience that I’m not sure can be equaled in any other kind of educational environment. I returned home feeling more powerful, confident, capable, engaged, and alive. Communing with nature, breaking my routine, and going beyond what I knew I could do grew me in ways I’m still discovering.
If you’re feeling quite comfortable in your life or conversely, extremely uncomfortable with the life you’re living, I urge you to consider taking a trip with Outward Bound. As Kurt Hahn, the founder of the organization once wrote, “There is more to us than we know. If we can be made to see it, perhaps, for the rest of our lives, we will be unwilling to settle for less.”
Do I look good in hazard yellow rainpants in the Appalachian Mountains or what? (Don’t write “Or what” please.) 
Want to change the world? Unite with others in common cause
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.
~ Margaret Mead
Melissa, who posted the video at URTH.tv wrote this: “We are the World featured the mega music stars of the time and ultimately raised $50 million for famine relief in Africa. The artists were famously asked to ‘leave their egos at the door’ in an effort to come together, raise consciousness and jumpstart action to reach out to those in need.”
Do you remember this song, this video, and the way this collective undertaking affected you?
How you can give to charity regularly and easily
Though we’re far from Christmas and it’s not time to buy those Girl Scout cookies, I’m still finding ways to make charitable giving part of my life. I know that most of you reading the Lavender Log have values of service and contribution that you want to express, so I want to make it easy for you to do so. Below I’ve highlighted a handful of ways that you can easily make charity part of your daily habit.
Click for a good cause
If you’re at your computer on a regular basis, make your first stop one of these webpages. Simply by clicking on their “give” button you make a positive impact. Corporate sponsors make the actual donations based on the number of “click donations” from each site, so the only cost to you is your time and the click of a button.
The Animal Rescue Site — Provide free food to animals in shelters. As a momma to five wonderful cats, I made the Animal Rescue Site my homepage over 5 years ago and have clicked almost daily since that time.- The Hunger Site — Your click helps funds organizations that provide food for hungry people in Africa, Asia, Eastern Europe, the Middle East, Latin America and North America.
- The Breast Cancer Site — Clicking here allows you to help provide mammograms for low-income, inner-city and minority women whose awareness of breast cancer and opportunity for help is often limited. Having a mom who died from breast cancer makes this one of the most important sites I visit daily.
- The Child Health Site — Help fund simple and very effective preventatives and treatments with the goal of robust child health around the globe.
- The Literacy Site — When you click at this site, you help provide free books for children.
The Rainforest Site — Clicking here funds the purchase of rainforest land by The Nature Conservancy, The Rainforest Conservation Fund, The World Parks Endowment, and The Friends of Calakmul. These organizations work to preserve rainforest land in Ecuador, Mexico, Peru, Paraguay and other locations worldwide.
Tamponification — This site provides tampons and sanitary pads to women’s shelters. They’ve been inundated by the response to their efforts and have temporarily suspended taking donations (as of March 12, 2007). However, I urge you to bookmark this site so you can come back and give as soon as they’re ready.
“Service rests on the basic premise that the nature of life is sacred, that life is a holy mystery with an unknown purpose. When we serve, we know that we belong to life and to that purpose.”
There are so many people and places in need in our world, that the least we can do is to take some action daily to show we care. I hope you will make supporting these organizations part of your daily routine.
If you know of other great websites where we can express our charitable and generous nature, please post a link in the comments section so we can support other organizations and initiatives as well.
Thanks for living your values and being of service in our world!
Oaths, pledges, and other sacred acts of allegiance
In Lance Secretan’s latest post, Teaching Values Early, he writes about the new oath that student’s of Thunderbird University’s Gavin School of International Management must sign. It reads as shown below:
As a Thunderbird and a global citizen, I promise:
I will strive to act with honesty and integrity,
I will respect the rights and dignity of all people,
I will strive to create sustainable prosperity worldwide,
I will oppose all forms of corruption and exploitation, and
I will take responsibility for my actions.
As I hold true to these principles, it is my hope that I may enjoy an honorable reputation and peace of conscience.
This pledge I make freely and upon my honor.
As I read this pledge, it made me think of the oaths of office recently taken by the newest members of the United States Congress. Here’s what they say:
I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; and that I will well and faithfully discharge the duties of the office on which I am about to enter: So help me God.
Here is a definition of oath from The American Heritage Dictionary, “A solemn, formal declaration or promise to fulfill a pledge, often calling on God, a god, or a sacred object as witness.” It seems to me that oath taking and pledge making are solemn acts that we’ve put aside in much of our modern life. Rather than making a formal vow or swearing to a deity or other sacred symbol, we have become casual about commitment. Many people make promises lightly while others don’t seek to hold people to the promises that they make. People jump into marriage and jump out again, forsaking their vows and the promises they made. People don’t treat their own word as the law, keeping their promises, no matter what.
Now I know life is sometimes messy and we may see things clearly in hindsight that were veiled to us when we made a commitment. We all need wiggle room.
That being said, I also think that we would benefit from being more thoughtful about the decisions we make and more dependable on our word. There are many things in life that deserve our solemn attention and full commitment, whether we’re a President, Pope, Plantiff, or plain ol’ person. Therefore I think it’s time we made oaths and pledges part of our regular experience rather than reserving them for elected officials, courtrooms, and wedding ceremonies. Hurray for the students and administration at Thunderbird for taking a step in that direction.
I welcome your thoughts on this subject.
Make your resolutions stick
The sugarplum fairies have stopped dancing in our heads, we’ve unwrapped our gifts, and our relatives have returned home. The splendor of the season has given way to the season of resolutions, that most opportune time when many minds ponder what pursuits to pursue in the coming months.
Whether you delight in resolution making or despise the mere thought of resolving, let me share three important secrets to make your commitments stick like glue.
1. Resolve to do only that which you’re committed to doing.
2. Have fun fulfilling your resolutions.
3. Let the “deepest why” be your fuel for action.
That’s it. Go to it!! . . . Wait, you want details?
Okay, here goes.
1. Resolve to do only that which you’re committed to doing. If you’re not really behind your resolution/goal, don’t even begin. Why? Because you will do only that which you truly have a commitment to doing. For instance, let’s say that you’ve decided to stop smoking (Bravo for you!). Doing this may be really hard for you and at times may seem like a pain in the butt. If you’re not really committed, at some point you’ll start smoking again. However, if you’re 100% committed, you’ll find a way through the difficulties, no matter how frustrating it gets. So, before you give your word, or announce your resolutions to the world, make sure you’re 100% committed to doing what it takes to succeed.
2. Have fun fulfilling your resolutions. Easy enough for things you’re excited to do, right? So what about those possible resolutions that aren’t tops on your “fun to do” list? If you’re enjoying yourself, you’ll draw to you more of what you enjoy. If you feel confident and see yourself as a success, more confidence, opportunities, and success will be drawn to you. The Law of Attraction says that like attracts like. In other words success at accomplishing your resolutions is drawn to you by your experiencing feelings of success and fulfillment first. When you enjoy the process of accomplishing your resolutions, you will draw more enjoyment to you and with this higher, more positive energy you’ll find it easier and easier to accomplish what you set before yourself.
3. Let the “deepest why” be your fuel for action. My experience as a coach is that
many people simply make resolutions (and most other goals) out of what they think they “should” do/have/be. Though the demand or fear of “should” can drive you toward your goal, it’s neither fun nor is it the most effective choice. With each resolution you’re considering, ask yourself, “Why do I want to do/have/be this?” and write the answer. Then, to that answer, ask yourself, “Why do I want to do/have/be this?” and write that answer. To your second answer, pose the question, “Why do I want to do/have/be this?” and write down this answer. Keep asking yourself “why” until you get to the deepest, most profound reason for making that choice. Write down this “deepest why,” post it somewhere prominent, share it with your coach or close friends, review it regularly. When this why becomes your fuel of choice, you’ll likely find that your commitment rockets to 100% and doing whatever it takes becomes some of the most fun you’ve ever had.
That’s my trio of resolution tips. I’d love to know what you think — whether you have questions or suggestions of your own. Also, if you’d like to post your New Year’s Resolutions on my blog, I’d be honored to have them. Simply click on the “comments” link below to add your voice to the conversation.
Thriving in all areas of your life?
“The way you do anything is the way you do everything!”
Last weekend I attended a powerful, high-energy event called the Millionaire Mind Intensive. The quote shown above was often repeated by our trainer, the talented and engaging, David Wood.
On the one hand I totally agree — our core beliefs are the background music to which we dance (or sit out the dance) whether we’re at work or at home, whether we’re dealing with relationships or spirituality. On the other hand, I have proof of the contrary being true. We sometimes have areas in which our core beliefs are faintly playing and other areas where the core beliefs pummel us like too-loud music at a big rock concert. For instance, during the course of this intense weekend, I realized that I had a collection of money beliefs that were making my financial freedom foxtrot turn into a penny-pinching polka.
So now that I’m aware (step 1) of these unsupportive beliefs and I’m understanding how they’re impacting my life (step 2), I’m reconditioning my mental records so that I’ll be able to trip the financial light fantastic with ease and joy!
If you want to learn more about T. Harv Eker, his amazing Secrets of the Millionaire Mind, and see how you can recompose your life’s money music, here are some useful links:
- Complimentary teleclass recording about financial freedom and the psychology of wealth
- Scholarships for an upcoming Millionaire Mind Intensive event (worth $2590)!
- Information about Secrets of the Millionaire Mind (the book)
Here’s to EVERYONE thriving in ALL areas of life. . . starting NOW! (If you missed my previous posts about giving oneself permission to thrive, you can catch up here — part 1 and part 2.)
Do you give yourself permission to thrive? (part 2)
In part 1 of this series of posts I wrote about how we first need to align our beliefs with our stated desires. Here’s a quick recap of what we covered.
Aligned goals & beliefs
- Goal – To attract a magnificent mate
- Beliefs – “I’m a great person to partner with,” “I enjoy meeting new men/women,” or “I can attract exactly the ideal person for me”
- Result – Enjoyment of the process (i.e., You can have fun even while the end result is manifesting.), attracting high-quality women/men, attraction of the person you’ve been looking for.
Misaligned (counteracting) goals & beliefs
- Goal – To attract a magnificent mate
- Beliefs – “I’m not skilled in relationships,” “There are no good men/women my age,” or “There’s nowhere good to meet people like me”
- Result – Disappointment, attracting men/women who don’t meet your picture of “ideal,” reinforcement of these beliefs as you fail to achieve your goal
So now that you’ve handled your beliefs that used to block out prosperity (be it in relationships, material resources, health, etc.), you’re ready for the next step in attracting abundance. Behaving in a way that resonates with your belief in the richness in life. (FYI, If you’re wanting support in transforming your beliefs rapidly and effectively, talk to me about coaching.)
Like beliefs, behaviors must match your stated goal and aligned beliefs if you want to attract prosperity into your life (and keep it there). So here’s my quick method for seeing if your behaviors are aligned with your goals and beliefs.
Identifying what’s working and what’s not working
- Get a piece of paper.
- Write your goal at the top of the page (along a short side).
- Beneath this goal, draw a line down the center of the page, dividing the paper into two columns. At the top of the left column write, “My behaviors that support this goal” and at the top of the right column write, “My behaviors that inhibit this goal”.
- Now honestly evaluate your behaviors, listing them under the appropriate heading.
Behavior transformation process — change those negative habits to positive actions that will fuel your success
The next step is to eliminate all the inhibiting behaviors, because as long as they exist you’ll be taking two steps forward and one step back and your goal will remain elusive. There are numerous ways to approach this step. I’ll offer one here.
- Select one inhibiting behavior that you’re willing and wanting to change. (e.g., For a goal of “Be healthy and physically fit you might decide that your habit of staying up until midnight on work nights [behavior] leaves you feeling too tired or with not enough time for exercise.)
- Identify the next step “up the ladder” toward a more supportive behavior. Write this down and begin practicing this new behavior. (e.g., “I will be in bed by 11 p.m.”)
- If you sense that the new behavior is still not the most supportive of your goal, repeat step #2 going one rung higher on your ladder. (e.g., “I will be in bed with the lights out by 11 p.m.” then “I am ready for bed by 10 p.m., read something enjoyable for 30 minutes, say a gratitude prayer and then turn off the lights and am asleep by 10:45 p.m.”)
- Repeat steps #2 and 3 until your old inhibiting behavior has been eliminated or transformed into a totally supportive way of being.
- Start again at step #1 with another one of your inhibiting beliefs.
Feel free to email this article to friends, colleagues, family — anyone who you think might have a goal or two they really want to accomplish. Your feedback on my ideas is welcome as well. Let me know how this behavior change process works for you. Especially feel free to tell me about any challenges you encounter. Peace.
Why all the questions?
I’ve been known as the question asker for years. In college I had a fellow student recognize me from a 500-person class by saying, “Aren’t you the woman in my dinosaur class who asks all the questions?” I was. At times in my past I asked questions so I could learn the answers, and ultimately prove my worthiness by reciting the expected and correct responses (I didn’t know that’s what I was doing at the time but I know it now).
For many years, however, I’ve asked questions primarily to evoke people (not provoke, mind you). By this I mean that I’m an enquirer because I want to meet the real people beneath the masks we all wear. I want to draw YOU out, into the open, into the light, so we (you and me both) can revel in your brilliance and humanity. I ask questions with the hope of seeing who you are at your core. As a coach, friend, and fellow human, I’m likely to ask:
- What inspires you?
- What do you stand for in this world?
- What is your most profound fear?
- What dreams have you deferred or declined to follow?
- What do you love about yourself?
- What part of yourself has been the hardest to own or acknowledge?
And, of course, I ask myself these questions too. Knowing that my authentic self often is veiled from even my own eyes. For, if I do not know myself, it is difficult for me to make room for understanding you.
Through this blog (and my other one focused on weddings and committed relationships–I Do! I Do! the blog), my desire is to be in conversation with you. Asking you questions. Listening to your responses. Reading your questions. Offering my replies. I invite you to join me in sharing ourselves in this way—putting forth our wisdom, our wonderings, and our wonderful selves as we seek to better understand, and therefore, relate to, all those with whom we share our earthly home. Please join in and invite others into our circle.
