The transformative power of gratitude, thankfulness and appreciation
Gratitude is something I consciously bring into my life on a daily basis. At the evening meal, my husband, Bruce, and I express gratitude for one or more things that happened or simply were during the day. Some days our words of thanks flow easily from hearts filled to the brim with appreciation. Other days we might really have to think about what we actually feel grateful for. Regardless of how easy or hard it is for us to identify that for which we are thankful, we have maintained this practice for over 5 years.
How gratitude has changed my life
People who know me would have said that I’ve always been a grateful person. This is true. Actively choosing to identify and name that for which I am grateful, however, has, in itself, been a blessing in my life.
- Gratitude makes even the toughest days easier. To me, practicing gratitude is like standing in the dark woods with the flame of a candle the only light and saying, “wow, look at that light” rather than, “man, it’s dark out here.”
- Gratitude reminds me of how rich and blessed I truly am. In American culture, we’re bombarded with messages that tell us to think we need more stuff or better stuff to be truly happy. The truth is, I’m happy and blessed regardless of the amount or quality of stuff in my life.
- Gratitude opens my heart with compassion. When I am conscious of how blessed I am, I also realize that there are people throughout our world who do truly suffer. I tend to then take action to do what I can to help ease that suffering, so they too can feel grateful for their lives.
- Gratitude makes me more grateful. Like an ascending spiral staircase, feeling grateful for one thing often triggers gratitude for another which reminds me of yet another thing for which I am thankful. Taking that first act of noticing opens my eyes to other blessings which I might have missed if not for that initial choice to see with thankful eyes.
- Gratitude simplifies my life. Like many people, I sometimes get caught in the tsunami that is modern culture. By practicing gratitude, I become aware of how little I truly need to be happy, healthy, and fully alive. Gratitude slows me down and kindles peace in my heart and mind.
- Gratitude makes me attractive. My gratitude practice makes my inner light shine brighter and others (people, animals, energy) are drawn to me to bask in that glow. It’s like being your own generator of positive, life-affirming energy when you consciously choose gratitude.
I would be grateful to know about your experience with gratitude. How has it changed your life? What keeps you from feeling grateful? What most profoundly evokes your gratitude? Please use the “comments” area to share or trackback to this post from your site.
Gratitude Quotes
“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion to clarity. . . . Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.”
~ Melody Beattie“I do not think of all the misery, but of the glory that remains. Go outside into the fields, nature and the sun, go out and seek happiness in yourself and in God. Think of the beauty that again and again discharges itself within and without you and be happy.”
~ Anne Frank“It seems to me that we often, almost sulkily, reject the good that God offers us because, at the moment, we expected some other good.”
~ C.S. Lewis“Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are. Let me learn from you, love you, bless you before you depart. Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow. Let me hold you while I may, for it may not always be so. One day I shall dig my nails into the earth, or bury my face in the pillow, or stretch myself taut, or raise my hands to the sky and want, more than all the world, your return.”
~ Mary Jean Iron
24 Comments »
RSS feed for comments on this post.
| TrackBack URI
You can also bookmark
this on del.icio.us or check the cosmos
Thank you, Shonnie, for this wonder-full post!
Indeed, gratitude and the awareness for what we are given simply transform our every day experience from drag to joy. People sometimes ask me how to switch to a feeling of gratitude when most of their experience is filled with worry, fear and regret. There is no easy answer but it all begins with practice. Just as learning to play the cello requires at first regular practice of sometimes boring exercises, we can nurture our own way of seeing the world in all its riches.
Instead of wolfing down your meal, take a moment to give thanks for what is about to nourish your body and for the work and input of countless people and processes that brought this food to the table (every day, not just on a holiday). At the end of the day, why not count the blessings of what occurred, no matter how small? There is no “small”. It’s all big and it all ripples…. especially right back at us. Starting with simple steps as these, we can bring our attention back to our true wealth. The key is to integrate the practice into our everyday lives without making it a big chore or expecting immediate results. They’ll show up anyways!
One creative way to express and practice your gratitude could be to participate in the “I Am Thankful Project” at IAmThankful.com! I look forward to hearing from you!
Blessings and Happy Giving Thanks,
Damaris
Comment by Damaris — November 17, 2007 @ 1:05 pm
Days do go by that I forget how blessed I’ve been the last year. We tend to think more about our potential or others’ expectations than really thinking about what we have. It’s usually when we’re faced with losing what we love most that we finally remember.
Thank you for making me remember!
Comment by Douglas Karr — November 17, 2007 @ 3:25 pm
Damaris – I think your IAmThankful project is such a wonderful and important project. Lots of fun there too!
Douglas – Reading what you wrote, I’m reminded of what Carlos Castaneda once told a woman who asked him how to live a spiritual life. He advised her to remember, each day, that all whom she loved would die, as would she; in no particular order and unpredictably. That, he said, would help her live a spiritual life. I think gratitude is similarly powerful.
Comment by Shonnie — November 17, 2007 @ 3:35 pm
Ahh, Shonnie, such a great topic - at anytime during the year but particularly this one. Thanksgiving is our family’s favorite holiday and if I were to name a theme for our gathering, it would be gratitude/thankfulness. Sitting around a groaning table, we each take a turn sharing our past year - the ups and downs, tears, laughter and ultimately, the palpable gratitude we each feel for our lives and one another.
I have a card that sits out where I can’t miss it - “Gratitude is the memory of the heart.” - Jean Baptiste Massieu. This phrase consciously nudges me - daily - to tap into my reservoir of gratitude. Without gratitude, my life would be a barren landscape.
With gratitude for you and your work, Loyd Kinnett
Comment by Loyd Kinnett — November 17, 2007 @ 3:45 pm
My beautiful sister-in-law, I love you very much and am so happy at your effort to help all readers understand how important gratitude is to a peaceful and content world. Just yesterday I had written my children an e-mail letter about the importance of gratitude and how it has impacted my life, and how they have impacted my life for the better. Thank you for introducing my family and me to the Law of Attraction.
Love,
Nancy
Comment by Nancy Chaney — November 17, 2007 @ 4:01 pm
Loyd — Thank you for sharing the Jean Baptiste Massieu quote. Thank goodness that our hearts have such memory!
Nancy — What a gift you offer your children by thanking them for their presence in your life. Though I know I forget to tell those I love that their simple presence in my life is a blessing, it is so true. Thank you, dear one, for being one such lovely gift that I treasure!
Comment by Shonnie — November 17, 2007 @ 4:20 pm
You rock, Shonnie! Thanks for inspiring me this afternoon to sit down and write! I just added an entry to my own blog and used your questions as guidance. I invite you to comment in return!
www.elizabethbarbour.com/blog
I agree that this conversation of gratitude is important - the more we discuss it, the more we are aware of it, the more we practice it, the happier a world we all live in!
Peace and love to you, my friend —- Elizabeth
Comment by Elizabeth Barbour — November 17, 2007 @ 4:36 pm
I like the Serenity Prayer that teaches accepting what we can’t change, changing what we can, and knowing the difference. It’s a peace-provoking prayer, and I love how it gets me to stop resisting what is.
Gratitude takes acceptance one step further - it reminds me to embrace what is.
Gratitude is a great for staying in the moment - where all really is well and wisely put.
Comment by Meryl — November 17, 2007 @ 5:05 pm
Elizabeth — I’m delighted that I was your spark of inspiration! I agree with your comments and simply add that perhaps instead of this leading to a “happier world we all live in,” that we are actually more aware of the abundant happiness that exists in our world even with many situations which are unhappy.
Meryl — I’m grateful to know that others also need reminders not to resist “what is.” Though I sometimes think I wish I were God, I’m thankful when I can appreciate a thing — even if I don’t “like” it — that God/Life has brought onto the path I am walking in life. I know I’m grateful for each person who has taken the time to add their wisdom here today!
Comment by Shonnie — November 17, 2007 @ 5:47 pm
Shonnie – such a rich topic; thank you for bringing my attention to it.
For me, gratitude is about being present to the moment’s gifts.
I wrote a poem last winter about the blessings of each moment. You can take a read at:
http://tinyurl.com/2fcrdw
Blessings to you in this and every moment,
Anne
Comment by Anne Heck — November 18, 2007 @ 8:18 am
Gratitude strengthens our relationships…
Gratitude has enhanced my relationship immensely. It infuses our relationship with positive energy, helps us feel more connected to each other and makes it easier to weather the rough times that confront all couples.
……
Trackback by I Do! I Do! -- No-nonsense Resources for Creating Your Ideal Relationship — November 18, 2007 @ 10:08 am
Shonnie,
What a delicious conversation–thanks for the getting it started. So many wonderful things have been shared. I love basking in the warmth of gratitude–it is a mood shifter for me and provides a place for expansion of thoughts, feelings and actions.
An interesting distinction was provided to me by Abraham last month in Asheville. They talked about gratitude vs. appreciation. Simply put, when we practice gratitude, we are usually focusing on what has already happened and what we are thankful for. Appreciation is putting our attention on what is and what we want for the future. For those of us embracing the Laws of Attraction, putting our attention on what we desire, partnered with feelings of joy and gratitude are key.
With that said, I have been shifting my practice to include both gratitude and appreciation–a delightful double whammy!
Delightfully,
Wendy
Comment by Wendy Watkins — November 18, 2007 @ 12:50 pm
Anne — What a marvelous poem! Thank you SO much for sharing. I especially appreciate the lines: “So bless this precious moment \ It’s more sacred than it seems” (so true, though sometimes I get caught looking for something “special”) and “Blessed is this moment \ No matter what I feel (again true; I’m alive and feeling, even if I wish I were feeling/experiencing something different.
Comment by Shonnie — November 18, 2007 @ 3:06 pm
Wendy — Thank you for joining the conversation and for adding the distinction about gratitude and appreciation. Ideally, I think that when we view our past, present, and imagined future with thankfulness, we will find ourselves truly content.
Comment by Shonnie — November 18, 2007 @ 3:10 pm
[…] I’m writing this post in response to my wife Shonnie’s query on her blog (see below) and, of course, the Thanksgiving holiday. I would be grateful to know about your experience with gratitude. How has it changed your life? What keeps you from feeling grateful? What most profoundly evokes your gratitude? Please use the “comments” area to share or trackback to this post from your site. –Shonnie Lavender […]
Pingback by Talking My Walk: Random Musings on Life, the Universe and Everything-- » Some of the things I’m grateful for — November 21, 2007 @ 2:44 pm
Hi Shonnie! I love the C.S. Lewis quote you include in your post. He was right on with this thought!
If left to my own devices, I tend to miss all the bounty God has placed right in front of me. Intentional quiet time with God is the best way I know to keep clear perspective. I have so much to be grateful for - and I am! Life is a beautiful adventure - each day full of wonderful possibilities. I am so thankful!
Happy Thanksgiving,
Margot Wurst
Comment by Margot Wurst — November 21, 2007 @ 4:07 pm
Hi Shonnie —
In mulling over your question for the past few days, and in reading the comments already posted, the thought that keeps occurring to me is the importance of being grateful for difficulties and complications.
It’s more than looking for a silver lining (though that’s important, too — seeking the blessing in disguise). In some ways, it’s like what C.S. Lewis is saying, and like the serenity prayer: acknowledging that my desire and comfort are not necessarily the best measure of “the good”.
When a complicated problem comes my way, especially at work, I try to remember that if such problems didn’t occur pretty regularly, there might not need to be someone in this role. And gratitude seems like an appropriate (if sometimes difficult) response.
Shonnie, you’ve done it again — thanks for the prompting to reflect on gratitude and its gifts. You always provide such nourishing food for thought
Happy Thanksgiving!
Comment by Jená — November 21, 2007 @ 8:55 pm
Margot — Ah, yes, quiet time is vital. Your thoughts reminded me that I sometimes start my journey to gratitude by noticing what I don’t like or don’t appreciate. If I get “worked up” enough, sometimes that feeling of a lack of appreciation acts as its own wake up call reminding me that in spite of things which I dislike, I am still overwhelmed with blessings. It’s a humbling way to get to gratitude, yet it’s simply the path I tread from time to time. Thank you for sharing.
Jená — Right on woman! I still vividly remember a time when a surgeon with whom I worked had been really irritated and upset with some of us and I had felt bitchy and irritated with him in response. On the walk from my office to my car, however, I had a small smile on my face as I thought to myself that I was grateful for the encounter with him (for many reasons) even though it wasn’t exactly the “order” I would have placed had I been queen of the universe. Thanks for jogging this memory for me.
Comment by Shonnie — November 23, 2007 @ 5:03 pm
I thought this quote from Richard Foster offers a great perspective on thanksgiving: When we have a spirit of thanksgiving we can hold all things lightly. We receive; we do not grab. And when it is time to let go, we do so freely. we are not owners, only stewards.
To get a real life experience of this just notice the breath. Just insert breath in place of “all things” in the quote as you reread it.
Comment by Fran Henry — November 28, 2007 @ 11:11 am
Fran — Thank you for sharing this wonderfully powerful quote, as well as your real life example! I think the distinction between “ownership” and “stewardship” is incredibly important…and, in terms of “thanksgiving,” reminds us that all we have is truly a gift.
Comment by Shonnie — November 28, 2007 @ 12:15 pm
Shonnie, thank you, as always, for your wisdom.
I am always grateful - even for the little things that inspire me - birds, clouds, smiles, mountains, rivers, hugs, health……the list is endless.
Thomas Merton described a mystic as someone who sees the wonder in all things. Thus, we can all be mystics, and therefore permanently grateful for the wonder in everything.
Comment by Lance Secretan — December 4, 2007 @ 1:55 am
Lance — Thank you for the reminder of the myriad things for which we can be grateful; you’re right, there is so much! I also like your statement about having gratitude for the “wonder” — there’s so much we can not explain or understand and wonder is a way to keep connected to our childlike sense of awe and appreciation.
Comment by Shonnie — December 4, 2007 @ 9:40 pm
Okay, here’s the annual Giving Thanks Rap.
The more Soul and emotion you put into it, the better it will feel.
Enjoy!!
The Giving Thanks Rap
So I’m givin’ thanks, oh yes I am
Gimme some paper and gimme a pen
Gotta be thankful for the way I’m livin’
Gotta be grateful on this Thanksgivin’
For many great people who just support me
For the place I live and just bein’ free
For the air I breathe and the land I walk
For just being able to sing and shout and talk
And gotta be thankful for my creative spirit
As well as the morning dove, oh I love to hear it
Gotta be grateful for the work I do
For my clients and my colleagues, yeah, I love them too
And how ’bout the sunrise and the great sunsets
This life is great, but it gets better yet
Grateful to be able to go to new places
And to meet new people and see new faces
And surely I’m grateful for all my possessions
And having good friends who’ll hear my confessions
And I’m even thankful for the losses and the grief
‘Cause they make me realize lettin’ go invites relief
(And I’m even so grateful for all my past romantic love
‘Cause today I do know, no longer must I shove)
But most of all, what I’m thankful for
Is just this great Life that gives me more and more
I shout to the heavens and today I do say, “Thanks!!”
I’m investing now in gratitude, you can take that to the bank
Ken “Keni Lee” Donaldson
********************
Pura Vida!
Ken
Ken Donaldson, M.A., L.M.H.C.
The REALationship Coach
http://www.realationshipcoach.com/
Ken@REALationshipCoach.com
(727) 394-7325
Comment by Ken Donaldson — December 24, 2007 @ 3:31 pm
Ken your rap is awesome!!! I read it aloud (with Gusto) to Bruce and agree with your sentiments. Thank YOU for sharing! Happy New Year!
Comment by Shonnie — December 31, 2007 @ 12:42 pm