Inventing yourself anew
“As soon as we succumb to someone else’s definition of who we are, we lose our sense of true self and of our right relation to the world. It makes no difference whether those projections make us the hero or the goat: when we allow others to name us, we lose touch with our own truth and undermine our capacity to cocreate in life-giving ways with ‘the other.’”
~ Parker Palmer in A Hidden Wholeness
I’m a recovering people pleaser. To me what this means is that I’m learning not to take things personally–the “good” or the “bad”–and also to not judge myself (Yes, I worked hard to keep everyone, myself included, happy.). The beneficial part of being a people pleaser is that I’m attuned to the wants and needs of others and I’m considerate of those around me. The main down side is that I often based my “okay-ness” on the opinions of the people around me. One of my transformational goals, therefore, is to stay attuned to others wants and needs without being a slave to them.
Is there part of your way of being in the world that doesn’t serve you? Do you have a behavior or habit that makes it easy for you to stifle the best part of who you are? Rather than completely abandoning your “former ways,” consider how you can adapt them so that they serve you and others simultaneously. Make micro adjustments in your actions until you find the right balance for you and the life you now choose to live.
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