Are your needs expendable?
Is your plate full? Too full? What do you do when something else gets heaped on top? What do you sacrifice to make room for your new responsibility? Where do you make adjustments so you can do this additional task?
If you’re like many people when they first come to me–achievers with full plates, lots of drive, and a penchant for “doing it all”–you likely do something automatically without even thinking about it. Can you think of what that something is? In case you’re not sure, I’ll remind you. You drop yourself out. Whether this means you choose to get a little less sleep, skip one of your workouts, or stay late at work instead of joining your spouse for dinner, you sacrifice your own needs and even your values just so you can get this new thing done.
I’ve got two questions for you:
- If “dropping yourself out” describes you to a T, what would have to change in order for you to change your ways?
- If you don’t “drop yourself out,” what strategies do you use to ensure that your needs and your responsibilities get fulfilled?
Ways to help ensure that your needs get met
- Know what your needs and wants are. If you don’t know what they are, getting them fulfilled will be much more difficult.
- Ask that your needs and wants get fulfilled. Expecting others to do this without telling them what you want will set you up for disappointment.
- Don’t deny your needs. If your habit is to say “it doesn’t matter” or “I don’t care,” people may stop consulting you altogether. You’re human. You have needs. Admit it.
- Fulfill your own needs. Sometimes we’re on our own, so it’s invaluable to know how to satisfying yourself rather than being dependent on others to “take care of you.”
- Distinguish between your needs and wants. Needs – water, shelter, love, respect — are essential to our physical, mental, and psychological well-being. Without fulfillment of our needs we could die (physically or spiritually). Wants – positively impacting the world, getting the “perfect” color of shoes, fitting into size 2 jeans — are optional. We might ultimately be happier with our wants fulfilled, yet even with unfulfilled wants, our life can still be rich and rewarding.
“The healthy and strong individual is the one who asks for help when he needs it. Whether he’s got an abscess on his knee or in his soul.”
~ Carol Burnett
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Hi Shonnie!
I just tagged you with a meme.
I can’t wait to see what you write!
adrienne
Comment by adrienne — October 4, 2007 @ 8:46 pm