Are you too responsible?
Most of the coaching clients I’ve worked with have one of two challenges with responsibility. See which of these choices mirrors the way you do your life.
- They make others responsible for their own well being. I recognize these clients because they say things like, “She made me so angry,” or “He likes to hurt my feelings.”
- They believe that they are responsible for others’ well being. These clients highlight this belief with such phrases as, “I don’t want to hurt her feelings,” or “I have to be careful of what I say around him otherwise he’ll get mad.”
Either choice actually does a disservice to all parties involved. The first paints us as the victim and another person as our attacker/adversary. The second burdens us with being “at fault” for whatever happens. Stop taking either extreme. Instead, own responsibility for your life and all your choices–everything you choose to think, feel, say, and do; AND stop taking responsibility for others’ lives and all their choices–everything they choose to think, feel, say, and do.
“Learning to assume total responsibility for your life is no small task. Keep reminding yourself that you are it. No one else is responsible for your happiness, fulfillment, satisfaction, competence, health, or life situation but you.”
~ Kevin Cashman“In the end, the only person who can be the boss of anyone is himself or herself.”
~ Betty Healey
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