What does it take to be a moral leader?
Can you imagine being part of a community that experienced a shocking tragedy? Can you fathom the emotions you would feel knowing that one person was the perpetrator of the events? Now, can you see yourself including this person in a memorial to the victims of the violence?
At Virginia Tech, one courageous student took this rare step of honoring the gunman who killed 32 others at the school before committing suicide. Katelynn Johnson, a senior sociology-psychology major, added a stone to represent the gunman in a memorial for those who died during the April 16 rampage.
My family did not raise me to do what is popular. They raised me to do what is morally right.
~ Katelynn Johnson
As reported by the Associated Press, Johnson wrote a letter to the Collegiate Times as the person who placed a stone in the memorial for Cho (the gunman). She wrote, “My family did not raise me to do what is popular. They raised me to do what is morally right. We did not lose only 32 students and faculty members that day; we lost 33 lives.”
Cowardice asks the question—is it safe? Expediency asks the question—is it politic? Vanity asks the question—is it popular? But conscience asks the question—is it right? And there comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular; but one must take it because it is right.
~ Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.
I’m grateful to Ms. Johnson for standing apart from others who took the popular and safe paths. Though I cannot grasp what could have led Cho to do what he did, my soul knows that he too suffered. I believe that when we choose to omit the perpetrators of violence from our prayers we lose part of our humanity. We all commit acts of violence in our lives–whether in harshly uttered words, righteous judgments, tightly-held resentments, or withdrawal of our love and support. While I know many would argue with me that these “minor” acts have no comparison to outright murder and physical violence, I disagree. There may be differing levels, yet an unloving act is an unloving act, no matter its size or scope.
For us to create a different world than that which we’ve brought into being today, we must forgo the popular and the safe route. We must believe, speak, and act out of love. . . no matter how irrational that love may seem. We must have the courage to be moral leaders, like Ms. Johnson chose to do. We must choose to follow our better nature, that part of ourselves that knows that no matter what it may look like on the surface, we are one. We must see that even in our pain, our judgment, our confusion, or our fear, we can choose a higher road. For it is this road of love, courage, compassion, and truth that will lead us to a new tomorrow, toward a peaceful, mutually-beneficial co-existence that we’ve been yearning for since we came into this world.
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Diana chimed in on her blog about this piece, which I appreciate. Thanks for your comment about my piece regarding including the shooter from Virginia Tech in the memorial for the dead. I appreciate what she wrote, especially this: “I would like to think that this would give us, as a community, pause to think about mental illness, and how we can reach out to those who suffer around us, but I fear that it will just stigmatize it more. Why is it when our bodies attack us, we are to be pitied, but when our minds attack us, we are monsters?” (emphasis mine).
It seems to me that pause and true reflection are skills that, as Americans, we are becoming very unaccustomed to exercising. In fact, I have so much to say about this. . .after some more reflecting, of course, that I’m going to go write a new blog post on this subject. Thanks for getting me started Diana!
Comment by Shonnie — May 2, 2007 @ 9:32 am
Thanks for sharing this message with us, Shonnie. To paraphrase Gandhi, we must be the change we wish to see. For me this means to be conscious of what I permit to enter my mind, my spirit and my body. So instead of watching the latest bang-bang-shoot-em-up movie, I choose an inspiring film (such as “Gandhi”) instead.
Comment by Bruce Mulkey — May 2, 2007 @ 5:54 pm
Thanks for your comments Bruce. I think you zeroed in on a key — consciousness. In our fast paced culture, we don’t often go slow enough to be conscious of what we’re doing, so we’re just running on autopilot. Your reminder is a good one for me today.
Comment by Shonnie — May 3, 2007 @ 8:29 am
When the horrific events at Virginia Tech happened, my first concern was friends who teach and go to school there. When I learned the details, I too kept saying that there were 33 lives lost that day - and the media kept saying 32. My heart broke that day for the Cho family - and each day since, I have felt an anguish about what they have gone through…what they will go through for the rest of their lives. Thank you for also feeling as such. My heart feels good to know there is moral courage out there.
Comment by Joan Eisenstodt — May 5, 2007 @ 9:12 pm
This was a great comment and thanks to Ms Johnson for her courage. We certainly don’t understand why Mr. Cho did what he did and even if we did we wouldn’t agree with him. As a psychologist I’ve come to realize that what people do make sense to them (even though not to others) because of the perspective they take on an issue. Changing perspectives can only occur when someone first realizes that there are perspectives and not simply THE TRUTH. Understanding starts with acceptance of differences. As much as we may despise Mr. Cho’s actions and the loss of life, we have no idea what it was like to live in his head.
Comment by Frank McSweeney — May 6, 2007 @ 2:29 pm
Joan, thank you for your words and feelings too. I think the “easy” path is our knee-jerk reactions which are valid and human. We hurt and we lash out. We feel anger and seek something to give us solace. I believe our future as humans depends on how successfully we can shift from acting out of our immediate reactions to acting from our secondary, more considered responses. Comments like yours renew my hope that we are moving in that direction more and more.
Peace.
Comment by Shonnie — May 7, 2007 @ 11:48 am
Frank, your reminder that my “truth” isn’t THE truth is helpful. Though I know this and have spent years retraining my thinking to know this, I still sometimes forget (as I think many others do too). This is one of the reasons that I believe so strongly in communication — listening and sharing so that we can better understand others (and they can understand us more clearly) — and its ability to help us live together in harmony.
Comment by Shonnie — May 7, 2007 @ 11:56 am