What if anything was possible
I love to share things that inspire me, restore my sometimes faltering faith in humanity, and kindle the spirit of love, joy, trust, and compassion in me. I found this music video at YouTube and hope you’ll enjoy it as much as I did. It’s from songwriter/singer Terra Naomi and you can read the moving story about how this video was made at Terra’s website.
Here’s one verse of “Say It’s Possible,” so you can sing along:
Don’t wait act now
This amazing offer won’t last long
It’s only a chance to pave the path we’re on
I know there are more exciting things to talk about
And in time we’ll sort it out
Even though none of us can be in this video, I invite you to use the comments area to answer the same question Terra posed to her fans.
“What would you do or want if anything was possible?”
Creativity saves the day. . .and more
In November 2006 over a hundred horses were stranded due to storms. Efforts to save them hadn’t worked…until several creative women and their equine friends stepped onto the scene. Here is the amazing video of what transpired. The video seems to have been removed from Google, so you’ll have to go to this site to view this amazing rescue.
Bless the women, the horses, and the creative spirit in us all! Thanks to Araya for sending me this link.
Dialogue, stories and learning bring me a new perspective
I was recently asked to write a column about my experience in an education and dialogue group (Building Bridges) designed to help participants learn about and heal wounds of prejudice and discrimination. Below is a slightly revised version (I changed local references to national ones.) of the column which ran in the Asheville Citizen-Times on January 22, 2007.
Sadly, racism isn’t a relic of the past
I am compassionate, educated and curious. Until I stepped into my first session of Building Bridges last Sept. 12, however, I was also woefully unaware of the real status of black/white race relations in our country.
As a 35-year-old, I grew up after the tumultuous transition from separated to integrated communities. Though acts of violence against blacks — think Rodney King and James Byrd — were shockingly horrific to me, they were thankfully rare, so I innocently assumed that the beliefs and feelings that sparked such malevolence were rare as well. I figured, as did most of my peers, that racial discord was something that existed in only a handful of people who clung to prejudices the rest of us had thoroughly discarded.
“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes.”
~ Marcel Proust
What I learned over the course of nine weeks of Building Bridges sessions this past fall was that racism — widespread prejudice about a racial group backed by the power to impose that prejudice on others — was not an artifact of America’s past. While lynchings or frequent racial slurs are no longer part of the everyday experience for our brothers and sisters with black skin, they still face racism in many forms, none of which should be acceptable in “civilized society.”
People with black skin are paid less for their work than I am paid for the same job. When black people browse in a store, surveillance and scrutiny is often the norm. If they need a different size shirt to try on or help finding the correct aisle for hex bolts, however, blacks in our communities are likely to receive little assistance from the same clerks who would be eager to serve me. Our black colleagues and classmates are judged not by their potential but by our preconceived notions.
Just notice where your mind goes the next time you see a black man driving an expensive car. When I ask to speak to the manager of a business, I, like most of you reading this piece, unconsciously expect to be greeted by a white person because that’s still the predominant skin color of people in positions of authority.
Sure, you might read all this and want to counter my claims by reminding me that there are over 600 black mayors in the US (according to the National Conference of Black Mayors). Or you might point out that Oprah, Condoleezza Rice and Barak Obama are among a growing number of black people with prominence and power. Or you would bring up the fact that Super Bowl XLI will feature two black head coaches, Tony Dungy (Indianapolis) and Lovie Smith (Chicago).
But I contend that just because we have people of color who are succeeding and prospering in America doesn’t mean they aren’t doing so against tremendous odds. Rather than using black success as a justification for inaction, I encourage you to see it as an opportunity to become part of a new trend — here in Asheville and in our country at large. Join a movement of white people, learning and working in partnership with our black neighbors to demolish old barriers of backwards beliefs, change biased behaviors and unconscious thoughts, and build bridges to connect our rich cultures.
When you and I add a new awareness to our already compassionate, educated and curious lives, I believe we will finally be able to call racism a relic of our past and honestly declare that we do live up to the ideals of our nation in which all are created equal.
“We have moved into an era where we are called upon to raise certain basic questions about the whole society. We are still called upon to give aid to the beggar who finds himself in misery and agony on life’s highway. But one day, we must ask the question of whether an edifice which produces beggars must not be restructured and refurbished.”
~ Martin Luther King, Jr.
The next session of Building Bridges begins January 29, 2007. To register or get more info, go to www.buildingbridges-asheville.org or phone 828-777-4585.
Simple wedding tips coming to a TV near you
You may or may not know that I am a published author. My two books are:
The Marriage Vow Workbook I coauthored with my phenomenal husband, Bruce Mulkey. We now use the book to coach couples through the writing of their wedding vows and preparing for marriage (a healthy, happy, fulfilling marriage, of course). Of course we do workshops for couples, relationship teleclasses, book signings and media appearances. Many of these events are regional, so you likely haven’t met us yet. Well now is your chance . . . because we’re going to be on a television near you as we make our
national television debut!
So, if you’re looking for free, inspirational, and practical ideas for your wedding, be sure to watch the Simple Weddings episode of Simple Living with Wanda Urbanska. It’s a PBS show televised in most markets nationwide. It is due to air sometime between January 15 and January 22. To find out when it airs in your town, click here.
Here are some of the wedding resources you’ll find on the show:
- Be inspired by the wedding of Eddie McGee and Anna Nixon. This couple involved friends and family in creating their wedding ceremony. Their vehicles of choice after the reception were their bicycles.
- Marriage experts, none other than yours truly, Shonnie Lavender and Bruce Mulkey, share insights on how to write your own wedding vows and plan for a successful marriage right from the start.
- Get tips from wedding experts on creating a ceremony that is green, meaningful, and even low cost.
Please pass the word along to any friends who are engaged and looking for ideas on creating a meaningful, unique, and magical wedding. Feel free to stop by our blog after the show and let us know what you thought.
Closer to millionaire than you think
The title of Steve Pavlina’s recent post, 5 Wealth Lessons From 20 Percent of a Millionaire, really caught my attention. He’s got lots of great ideas (way more than 5 really) about how he shifted his consciousness about wealth, which is something I’ve been actively working on since attending the Millionaire Mind Intensive in November 2006.
What wowed me with Steve’s post was when he wrote that his cash net worth (excluding assets like his highly-profitable blog; $40K/month) was $200,000, therefore he sees himself as 20 percent of a millionaire. As of January 6, 2007 our (my husband, Bruce, and me) net worth was over $238,000 so that means we’re nearly a quarter of the way to being a millionaire couple. Woo Hoo! We rock!! What an awesome realization to have (Thanks for the spark, Steve!) Heck, even if I divide that in half, I’m 12 percent of a millionaire. . . little did I know.
So, my invitation to you is to do the math. If one of the dreams you have for yourself is to live a rich, abundant life–financially and otherwise–start off 2007 by figuring out your current net financial worth. Though it might be lower that what you want it to be, if you start to see yourself as already on the path to becoming a millionaire, arriving at that destination is bound to get a lot easier from now on!
Oaths, pledges, and other sacred acts of allegiance
In Lance Secretan’s latest post, Teaching Values Early, he writes about the new oath that student’s of Thunderbird University’s Gavin School of International Management must sign. It reads as shown below:
As a Thunderbird and a global citizen, I promise:
I will strive to act with honesty and integrity,
I will respect the rights and dignity of all people,
I will strive to create sustainable prosperity worldwide,
I will oppose all forms of corruption and exploitation, and
I will take responsibility for my actions.
As I hold true to these principles, it is my hope that I may enjoy an honorable reputation and peace of conscience.
This pledge I make freely and upon my honor.
As I read this pledge, it made me think of the oaths of office recently taken by the newest members of the United States Congress. Here’s what they say:
I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; and that I will well and faithfully discharge the duties of the office on which I am about to enter: So help me God.
Here is a definition of oath from The American Heritage Dictionary, “A solemn, formal declaration or promise to fulfill a pledge, often calling on God, a god, or a sacred object as witness.” It seems to me that oath taking and pledge making are solemn acts that we’ve put aside in much of our modern life. Rather than making a formal vow or swearing to a deity or other sacred symbol, we have become casual about commitment. Many people make promises lightly while others don’t seek to hold people to the promises that they make. People jump into marriage and jump out again, forsaking their vows and the promises they made. People don’t treat their own word as the law, keeping their promises, no matter what.
Now I know life is sometimes messy and we may see things clearly in hindsight that were veiled to us when we made a commitment. We all need wiggle room.
That being said, I also think that we would benefit from being more thoughtful about the decisions we make and more dependable on our word. There are many things in life that deserve our solemn attention and full commitment, whether we’re a President, Pope, Plantiff, or plain ol’ person. Therefore I think it’s time we made oaths and pledges part of our regular experience rather than reserving them for elected officials, courtrooms, and wedding ceremonies. Hurray for the students and administration at Thunderbird for taking a step in that direction.
I welcome your thoughts on this subject.
Invest your money to create the world you want
This inspiration for this post came from an unlikely source…a survey.
One of the mutual fund companies where I invest is Calvert Group which is a strong advocate of Socially Responsible Investing (or SRI), which is defined by the Social Investment Forum as “Integrating personal values and societal concerns with investment decisions.” Basically the survey was inviting shareholder input on policy changes that would impact the types of energy companies in which Calvert would consider investing. Near the end of the survey I was nearly moved to tears when I read the proposed policy change that Calvert is considering (see below; emphasis mine).
“PROPOSED: We evaluate overall environmental performance, including compliance with environmental regulations. We favor companies that find opportunities to mitigate their environmental footprint, have better-than-average environmental records relative to their industry peers, and are responsive to stakeholders.
Furthermore, we assess corporate-wide sustainability strategies and solutions that go well beyond regulatory compliance, such as integrating environmental factors into product design, corporate management, and governance. Calvert actively seeks investment in companies that are addressing the climate change crisis and are advancing renewables and other sustainable energy choices. This approach compels us to consider power companies that may have diversified energy mixes, including nuclear power, and to invest in such companies only if they are leaders in renewable energy and energy efficiency and at the same time maintain strong records on safety and security.”
All the statements in bold indicate some of the specific things that inspired me about this proposed new policy. To me it’s such a powerful feeling to know that the money I earn can go out into the world and work for me (and the causes I support) in a way that is in direct alignment with my values.
Do Money & Values Mix?
Many people will tell you that successful businesses can’t be “green” or that to “get ahead” you’ll have to put profit ahead of purpose. I disagree…and I do so from my own personal experience. When I “profit” by buying less expensive goods that were made by child laborers, the loss is much greater than my gain. When I shop at big box stores instead of my locally-owned merchants, my community pays a price. When I tell myself that to build my nest egg I’ll have to invest in companies like Dow or GE or Lockheed Martin, I’m denying that my nest will be fouled by the time I’m ready to enjoy it. Thank goodness I’ve figured this out for myself and have a husband whose values align completely with mine (In fact, he’s just spent a few days with former Vice President, Al Gore, being trained to give the “An Inconvenient Truth” presentation that Mr. Gore made famous in his film of the same name.).
There are many things in our world over which I have no direct control. Many people tend to think that investing is one of these things. With SRI, you’ll find that your voice counts. Your money can work for you, support the work of conscious companies around the globe, and create the world you long to see. Here are some links if you’d like to learn more about Socially Responsible Investing.
- Social Investment Forum
- Social Funds
- Calvert’s introduction to socially responsible investing
- GreenMoney Journal
- SRI info in Wikipedia
- Business Alliance for Local Living Economies
If you have any personal anecdotes to share, please add your two cents worth!
Make your resolutions stick
The sugarplum fairies have stopped dancing in our heads, we’ve unwrapped our gifts, and our relatives have returned home. The splendor of the season has given way to the season of resolutions, that most opportune time when many minds ponder what pursuits to pursue in the coming months.
Whether you delight in resolution making or despise the mere thought of resolving, let me share three important secrets to make your commitments stick like glue.
1. Resolve to do only that which you’re committed to doing.
2. Have fun fulfilling your resolutions.
3. Let the “deepest why” be your fuel for action.
That’s it. Go to it!! . . . Wait, you want details?
Okay, here goes.
1. Resolve to do only that which you’re committed to doing. If you’re not really behind your resolution/goal, don’t even begin. Why? Because you will do only that which you truly have a commitment to doing. For instance, let’s say that you’ve decided to stop smoking (Bravo for you!). Doing this may be really hard for you and at times may seem like a pain in the butt. If you’re not really committed, at some point you’ll start smoking again. However, if you’re 100% committed, you’ll find a way through the difficulties, no matter how frustrating it gets. So, before you give your word, or announce your resolutions to the world, make sure you’re 100% committed to doing what it takes to succeed.
2. Have fun fulfilling your resolutions. Easy enough for things you’re excited to do, right? So what about those possible resolutions that aren’t tops on your “fun to do” list? If you’re enjoying yourself, you’ll draw to you more of what you enjoy. If you feel confident and see yourself as a success, more confidence, opportunities, and success will be drawn to you. The Law of Attraction says that like attracts like. In other words success at accomplishing your resolutions is drawn to you by your experiencing feelings of success and fulfillment first. When you enjoy the process of accomplishing your resolutions, you will draw more enjoyment to you and with this higher, more positive energy you’ll find it easier and easier to accomplish what you set before yourself.
3. Let the “deepest why” be your fuel for action. My experience as a coach is that
many people simply make resolutions (and most other goals) out of what they think they “should” do/have/be. Though the demand or fear of “should” can drive you toward your goal, it’s neither fun nor is it the most effective choice. With each resolution you’re considering, ask yourself, “Why do I want to do/have/be this?” and write the answer. Then, to that answer, ask yourself, “Why do I want to do/have/be this?” and write that answer. To your second answer, pose the question, “Why do I want to do/have/be this?” and write down this answer. Keep asking yourself “why” until you get to the deepest, most profound reason for making that choice. Write down this “deepest why,” post it somewhere prominent, share it with your coach or close friends, review it regularly. When this why becomes your fuel of choice, you’ll likely find that your commitment rockets to 100% and doing whatever it takes becomes some of the most fun you’ve ever had.
That’s my trio of resolution tips. I’d love to know what you think — whether you have questions or suggestions of your own. Also, if you’d like to post your New Year’s Resolutions on my blog, I’d be honored to have them. Simply click on the “comments” link below to add your voice to the conversation.
