Do you give yourself permission to thrive? (part 2)

In part 1 of this series of posts I wrote about how we first need to align our beliefs with our stated desires. Here’s a quick recap of what we covered.

Love your life Aligned goals & beliefs

Goal – To attract a magnificent mate
Beliefs – “I’m a great person to partner with,” “I enjoy meeting new men/women,” or “I can attract exactly the ideal person for me”
Result – Enjoyment of the process (i.e., You can have fun even while the end result is manifesting.), attracting high-quality women/men, attraction of the person you’ve been looking for.

Misaligned (counteracting) goals & beliefs

Goal – To attract a magnificent mate
Beliefs – “I’m not skilled in relationships,” “There are no good men/women my age,” or “There’s nowhere good to meet people like me”
Result – Disappointment, attracting men/women who don’t meet your picture of “ideal,” reinforcement of these beliefs as you fail to achieve your goal

So now that you’ve handled your beliefs that used to block out prosperity (be it in relationships, material resources, health, etc.), you’re ready for the next step in attracting abundance. Behaving in a way that resonates with your belief in the richness in life. (FYI, If you’re wanting support in transforming your beliefs rapidly and effectively, talk to me about coaching.)

Like beliefs, behaviors must match your stated goal and aligned beliefs if you want to attract prosperity into your life (and keep it there). So here’s my quick method for seeing if your behaviors are aligned with your goals and beliefs.

Identifying what’s working and what’s not working

Get a piece of paper.
Write your goal at the top of the page (along a short side).
Beneath this goal, draw a line down the center of the page, dividing the paper into two columns. At the top of the left column write, “My behaviors that support this goal” and at the top of the right column write, “My behaviors that inhibit this goal”.
Now honestly evaluate your behaviors, listing them under the appropriate heading.

Behavior transformation process — change those negative habits to positive actions that will fuel your success
The next step is to eliminate all the inhibiting behaviors, because as long as they exist you’ll be taking two steps forward and one step back and your goal will remain elusive. There are numerous ways to approach this step. I’ll offer one here.

Select one inhibiting behavior that you’re willing and wanting to change. (e.g., For a goal of “Be healthy and physically fit you might decide that your habit of staying up until midnight on work nights [behavior] leaves you feeling too tired or with not enough time for exercise.)
Identify the next step “up the ladder” toward a more supportive behavior. Write this down and begin practicing this new behavior. (e.g., “I will be in bed by 11 p.m.”)
If you sense that the new behavior is still not the most supportive of your goal, repeat step #2 going one rung higher on your ladder. (e.g., “I will be in bed with the lights out by 11 p.m.” then “I am ready for bed by 10 p.m., read something enjoyable for 30 minutes, say a gratitude prayer and then turn off the lights and am asleep by 10:45 p.m.”)
Repeat steps #2 and 3 until your old inhibiting behavior has been eliminated or transformed into a totally supportive way of being.
Start again at step #1 with another one of your inhibiting beliefs.

Feel free to email this article to friends, colleagues, family — anyone who you think might have a goal or two they really want to accomplish. Your feedback on my ideas is welcome as well. Let me know how this behavior change process works for you. Especially feel free to tell me about any challenges you encounter. Peace.

Filed under: Mindfulness, Self-empowerment, Purpose by Shonnie |

7 Comments »

Hey Shonnie,

Being a fellow Life Coach, I truly appreciate your wonderful posts, they all some great tips which are incredibly useful!

Alignment and congruency are so important, just yesterday was I demonstrating with a client, mis-aglined his thought process was. I gave him some new questions and thoughts and he noticed within himself instantly the difference it made to the way he felt!

Thank you again, keep up the fantastic work!

Comment by Amit — October 20, 2006 @ 7:17 am
Thank you for the compliments Amit. I, likewise, appreciate what you’re posting on your blog. If you want to share some of your tips with my readers you’re certainly welcome to do so. I’m glad for our virtual connection and neighborly blog “visits.” See you soon!

Comment by Shonnie — October 20, 2006 @ 7:42 am
Oh I will do for sure! Sal mubarak (That means happy new year, in my culture, Sunday was new years and so happy new year to you!)

:)

Comment by Amit — October 24, 2006 @ 12:49 pm
Sal mubarak to you too Amit. What culture do you come from? I thought of wishing you Eid mubarak (belatedly) but wasn’t sure if that would be correct. I dated a Pakistani for 3 years after college and learned a bit about his culture yet even though I’ve lived overseas for a short time, I have a good deal of cultural ignorance too. So, I’d love to know more! Peace.

Comment by Shonnie — October 27, 2006 @ 11:09 am
I really like your blog. I am fairly new to blogging and was wondering if you wouldn’t mind linking to each other so we can assist each other in getting more traffic and exposure. You can check out my blog at http://susanvlz.blogspot.com Thanks

Comment by Susan — January 27, 2007 @ 1:30 pm
Thanks for stopping by Susan and for offering the compliments–that’s one thing I think we could all be open to giving more freely and receiving more easily. I like what I saw on your site in a quick read through. Right now I’ll add you to Bloglines so I can stay up to date. Perhaps a link exchange will be a good fit. Peace.

Comment by Shonnie — January 27, 2007 @ 3:38 pm
I really enjoyed reading this post, thank you so much! I am definitely going to be stopping back soon!

Comment by Bill — June 27, 2008 @ 2:00 pm