Everyday Gifts – How You Can Show Your Love Without Spending a Dime
Sometimes we try so hard to find the “right” gift that we overlook simpler ideas that might be just as meaningful. Or, we hold back on gifting others, thinking that there needs to be a special reason for giving. I encourage you to give freely and often, remembering 
that giving is one activity that benefits the person on each end of the exchange. Below are ten gifts I believe are appropriate for any ordinary day and every special occasion. Plus, they are gifts that anyone can give because they require nothing but a willingness to be generous.
- Time – Sharing your time is one of the greatest gifts you can give. Whether you offer ten minutes of story time to a child, a lunch date to a friend, or an afternoon away from chores to your spouse, you’re offering yourself and building a relationship at the same time.
- Honest Acknowledgement – I hear very few people say that they receive too many compliments or too much praise. We all thrive when we get positive feedback and genuine appreciation for who we are or what we do. Start noticing the strengths, assets, and positive features of others and establish a new trend of personally acknowledging others for what you see.
- Forgiveness – Forgiveness is a tremendously powerful gift. When we forgive others, we stop punishing them for their real or imagined act (whether we’ve been overt or clandestine in our retaliation). We give them our permission to let go of guilt or shame that they may be feeling over what they did. Forgiveness also has the benefit of freeing us from re-experiencing the hurt or anguish of the past incident.
- Love – When we let down our defenses, stop judging others, and see them as another unique, holy, and precious human being, we give them a great gift. Openly sharing our love with others can help heal old wounds, build bridges, and even help someone in a challenging spot in life to move to a new place of confidence or self-assurance.
- Undivided Attention – Even when we offer our time, our minds can be elsewhere, distracted from the person or experience at hand. Let yourself be with another person, setting aside other activities, thoughts, or agendas until you’ve fulfilled your purpose for the encounter. People notice when you’re 100% present and when you’re not, so give them all of you.
- Courtesy – We often are so busy or so absorbed in our life’s dramas that we forget there are other people around us. Give yourself a breather and offer courtesy to the people you encounter each day. Simple acts of opening doors, holding an elevator, sharing a cab ride, picking up your neighbor’s newspaper and dropping it at their door, or letting a car ease in front of you during rush hour all let someone else know you care (Even if they don’t thank you for your kindness it likely registers somewhere inside them.).
- Surprise – This gift allows you to be really creative. Do you want to drop a postcard to your sister saying you love her? How about sending a floral bouquet to your husband (yes, he’ll be surprised)? Maybe you choose to offer to babysit your single co-worker’s son so she can enjoy an evening out with friends. Such gifts can have the most impact on an ordinary day because then the recipient will be totally unsuspecting.
- Gratitude – Giving the gift of gratitude allows you to single someone out and let them know you paid attention to what they did. Like honest acknowledgements, a sincerely offered “thank you” is an uncommon treat. Whether you choose to speak or write your gratitude, this is a gift that goes right to the heart.
- Smile – In the modern world, we often see too few smiling, genuinely happy faces. Reverse this trend by wearing a smile as part of your everyday wardrobe. This countenance conveys warmth, welcome, and friendliness, making it easy for those you’re smiling at to feel “seen.” Give this gift that sends the message, “I’m glad you’re here.”
- Silent Prayer – We could all use extra prayers and blessings in our lives. Even if it’s not consciously known, another person can be blessed when you offer the energetic gift of prayer. Whether or not you know a person’s situation or their religion, you can ask for divine assistance or attention. A simple prayer you might offer: “God/Allah/Great Spirit I ask for you to bless this person and attend to any needs they may have in their life. Thank you.”
Let me know about other free gifts that you love to give. Let’s all build up our gifts list so we’ll be ready the next time our generous gene kicks in! (I wrote this post as part of Darren Rowse’s “How To” group writing project.)
18 Comments »
RSS feed for comments on this post.
| TrackBack URI
You can also bookmark
this on del.icio.us or check the cosmos
Hey Shonnie,
What a lovely post! Especially the part about undivided attention. People do have a need to feel as if they’re being heard and there is no better way than to give someone your undivided attention when they need to talk about something going on in their lives.
Your post has given me that lovely feeling tingle of inspiriation inside and that always means to me that I’ve taken something special from what I’ve read!
:)
Comment by Amit — September 19, 2006 @ 2:32 pm
Shonnie,
I was amazed by the thought you have put in. It must have been a long thinking before came in print.
Honestly I could not add to the list, as it is so exhaustive. It would be a pleasant gift, if I get some more thoughts from you.
Regards,
Girish
Comment by Girish — September 20, 2006 @ 1:27 am
Those look great. My husband really likes for me to say good things about him. That is a free gift that I can give to him.
Comment by Karen — September 20, 2006 @ 8:05 am
Shonnie - Nice post. It could be added as an 11th gift - the gift of a gentle reminder.
Living so far from family and friends, I’m always looking for creative ways to let them know they’re in my thoughts. One of my favorites is virtual flowers thru (duh) www.virtualflorist.com. My kids especially like them because they don’t require any watering! lol
I look forward to future posts.
Thanks!
Comment by Lori — September 20, 2006 @ 8:59 am
This is a beautiful post - and it’s so true. We take those things for granted, but they are what make or break a relationship. Thank you for the excellent reminder - my husband’s birthday is coming up;)
And I appreciate your comment on my “listening” post as well. Have a great day.
Kelly
Pass the Torch
Comment by Pass the Torch — September 20, 2006 @ 9:40 am
Hi Shonnie,
After reading your post, I am sure a lot of people now know how generous they are.
To add to your list…giving a kiss to your loved one especially spouse does not cost any penny too. I am sure we do that all the time…:)
Comment by cjcm — September 20, 2006 @ 10:04 am
Thanks for the advice. Will use today.
My how to is up.
Comment by Graham English — September 20, 2006 @ 10:17 am
Very thoughtful post. I really enjoyed it. Money doesn’t always buy happiness. Nice contribution to the Group Writing Project at ProBlogger. My How To is up also.
Comment by Matt — September 20, 2006 @ 11:27 am
Hi Shonnie,
I really loved your post.
Now that I’m busy with a hectic 9 - 9 corporate job AND blogging, I realize how important the gift of time, as well as undivided attention, is.
I find your post especially interesting because my how to is up, and it’s a totally opposite topic: how to “buy” happiness; however, I think the two posts kind of complement each other.
I like the idea of being creative in your gift-giving: other great gifts are expressing your feelings (letters are great), and physical gifts like massages, hugs and kisses
Comment by shuchetana — September 20, 2006 @ 11:31 am
Great job, very nicely done. This comes at a good time…my son wanted to do something nice for his brother but was complaining he didn’t have any money, and I was just talking about some of these things last night.
Comment by Jersey Girl — September 20, 2006 @ 12:28 pm
What a sweet list and great ideas! Our how-to is up as well if you’d like to check it out!!
Comment by MamaDuck — September 21, 2006 @ 12:20 pm
Great Post Shonnie,
I found you through the Problogger Group Writing Project. You are right - the best gifts don’t cost money.
Thanks,
Steve
BTW i am going to digg this, del.icio.us, and stumbleupon.com it.
Comment by Steve Olson — September 21, 2006 @ 12:41 pm
Hi - I agree with the others - this truly is a great post.
Same as Steve - I am going to tag and bookmark this everywhere I can because it needs to be shared!
Hey steve - lets see who gets there first!
Have a great weekend,
Ross
Comment by Ross — September 21, 2006 @ 7:24 pm
Shonnie, This is so beautiful. Your writing is beautiful, and the topic is one that everyone can relate to. It inspired me today. Thank you so much.
Comment by Olivia — September 21, 2006 @ 9:30 pm
How To Learn A Lot On A Friday Evening…
I extend a warm welcome to my readers that came from Problogger:-)
This week I participated in another of Problogger’s Writing Project. The theme this time was “How-to”. I submitted the post Achieve Big Audacious Goals The SMART Way. …
Trackback by Balanced Life Center — September 22, 2006 @ 9:02 pm
[…] Still stumped for ideas (or perhaps you’ve already used the 101 ways suggested above)–read about how you can show your love without spending a dime. […]
Pingback by Over 100 ways to express your love — July 6, 2007 @ 9:44 pm
[…] If you have suggestions about how to keep the love alive in a marriage, post them in the “comments” area. (I wrote this post as well as one titled, “Everyday Gifts — How You Can Show Your Love Without Spending a Dime” as part of Darren Rowse’s “How To” group writing project.) Filed under: Relationship tips, Marriage by Shonnie | on September 21, 2006 Related Posts […]
Pingback by Ways to Reinvigorate Your Love In A Long-Term Relationship — July 17, 2007 @ 10:17 pm
[…] Everyday Gifts - How You Can Show Your Love Without Spending a Dime by Shonnie […]
Pingback by CJCM and IT » Blog Archive » Problogger’s Group Writing Project — February 12, 2009 @ 1:29 am