Experience More Personal Freedom — Happy Independence Day!
In honor of the U.S. Independence Day Holiday (July 4), I’m posting Chapter Four from my book (Live the Life You’ve Imagined). The chapter is titled Experience More Personal Freedom. May these ideas inspire you to claim your freedom and live in the independent, liberated way you were meant to.
For many people, freedom is something they yearn for, expect, and champion as a basic human right. Yet frequently, people abdicate their own power and wait for outside forces or other people to free them. You recognize the stories. A woman waits for the “right” man to come along and make her life perfect. An overweight man keeps searching for the diet that will vaporize those extra pounds. A person blames her boss, her “ex,” or her parents for the life she’s created.
What we forget is that freedom is our choice, our individual decision. Viktor Frankl, Holocaust survivor, psychotherapist, and author of Man’s Search for Meaning, and Nelson Mandela, South African civil rights leader, former president and Nobel Peace Prize recipient, both demonstrated this fact when they chose to be spiritually and mentally liberated despite being physically imprisoned (Frankl in Nazi concentration camps and Mandela in apartheid-era South African prisons). The ideas in this chapter are ways you can bring more personal freedom into your life. If you’re ready to take responsibility for who you are, how you act, and what you have, read on and start experiencing more freedom than you’ve felt in years.
Get clear of your past.
Our histories are unchangeable, yet we often drag them through life like our most treasured possessions. Own your past, celebrate your successes, learn from your mistakes, and atone for deeds you now regret having done. Once you’ve reconciled yourself with the reality of your past, you can be fully present and get on with the life at hand.
Know what you value.
Part of being free means being in intimate contact with those people, places, and things that are important to you. Have a clear and definitive vision of what really matters most in your world, and then orient your life around these people and activities. By focusing on your true values and your top priorities, you can let go of things that are less important. You’ll have more freedom and, therefore, more time for what you really love.
Consciously choose your beliefs.
Part of living a liberated life means choosing your own beliefs. Many of us took on the beliefs we learned as children and live out of them by default because we don’t consider other attitudes, viewpoints, or ways of thinking. Instead, open yourself to a variety of beliefs—read, ask questions, observe life. Examine your present beliefs to see if they truly fit you and discard those that don’t.
I had a belief that my mom “shouldn’t have died at age fifty-nine of breast cancer.” While this is still not what I wanted to have happen, a belief that it “shouldn’t have” happened served only to make me miserable and angry with my mom, God, and life in general. By exploring that belief (and other “shoulds” that I held as true), I found that it didn’t serve me, so I adopted a new belief—“I don’t know what should or shouldn’t happen. I can choose how to respond to whatever life brings my way.” Yes, I still have my opinions and my wants for the world, yet I left behind a belief that didn’t solve any problems and now have one that helps me play my role in addressing the needs I see. So, while it might be appropriate to get consumer goods at the chain stores of the world, an unquestioning, unconscious mass-market approach is not the best way to select your beliefs.
Tell the truth.
Sages have long said the truth will set us free. So if personal liberation is your goal speak only the truth. Start by being honest with yourself. Then commit to telling only the truth to those closest to you. Keep expanding your circle of honesty and practice truth-telling until you know no other way to live.
Make no comparisons.
You have your own gifts, strengths, and life path. Your destination is yours alone, and you will get there in whatever way you were meant to. Comparing yourself to others is a useless pastime that traps you in its “one up, one down” game. Go your own way and know that it is the “right” way for you.
The last five tips are:
- Be choosy with your time and energy.
- Keep the Sabbath.
- Expect nothing.
- Be who you want to be.
- Be here now.
To read the full text, you’ll need a copy of my book. It’s just $11.95+shipping (tax for NC/NY residents). You can read a preview here.
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